Fort Chipewyan, just downstream from the fabled Athabasca Tar Sands, seems to be raking in a lot of “firsts.” For one there’s the incidence of cancer among the local natives. But wait, there’s more!

Now there’s Petrofish, a new type of Goldeye – with two mouths.
A Parks Canada official from the Woods Buffalo National Park had a look at the mutant before handing it back to the Mikesew Cree nation. A report has been sent to Alberta’s Regional Aquatic Monitoring Program (RAMP), a cooperative that includes the Harper Department of Fisheries and Petrobucks, the Tony Clement Department of Dirty Needles, the Alberta environment department and silly walks, oilsands corporations and a few natives thrown in for good measure (those who haven’t already contracted cancer).
Local natives are treating the mutant fish with alarm but, then again, they would, wouldn’t they?