The crocuses are out, the tulips are coming up, the trees are in bud and motorcycle season has officially begun. Yipee!

What? Snow? No, no, no, no. OH, you have snow! Sorry to hear that. Snow, really? I mean we’ve got snow – if you look up on the mountains, plenty of it there. We just don’t have any – down here where we live.

Am I supposed to feel shortchanged, missing out? Well not much I can do about it. I guess I’ll just have to live with it. Maybe if I jump on my bike that’ll make me feel better.

You guys are so damned lucky. Sheesh.

(the preceding message is known as “Vancouver Island Gloat,” an annual rite of passage when people here in Lotusland run up their phone bills calling friends and relatives back east to ask how they’re getting by. Five or ten seconds into it you’ve got the first mention of the crocuses out, then the tulips, then the trees, followed closely by a little whine about having to start cutting the damned lawn again. Then you enjoy the silence, the slow burn on the other end of the line. Finally you listen patiently to angry curses about the snow and driving and the G.D. shoveling driveways, expressing polite sympathies where appropriate, and then hang up knowing that, next spring, you’ll get to do it all over again!)

p.s. it is spring.

Please feel completely free to leave your frozen-ass comments. Thanks for stopping by.